First of all, not all bros came down.. but I would say most of them came down.. Ys, Wc, Solo and Clement.. Went to chong pang market to have dinner.. Didnt know wad to eat.. Actually wanted to eat dumplings de.. but come to think of it, I have been having sore throat for days.. So I shouldnt eat sumthing that dry.. So I turn to the side and order cha chai fan.. Haha.. This freaking sore throat is not those I used to have, its those deep inside the throat, no matter how much water i drank it still hurts..

aftermath, we went to chamber.. Which was.. Whoa.. Been so long since I step into chamber.. haha.. Same atmostphere, dim lighting and cold air-con.. Hahas.. Kinda feel comfortable there.. Played DOTA.. Thou we only played 3 rounds and lost all 3 rounds.. but it was fun.. after playing we talked and laugh at each other's mistake.. haha.. FUN..

Now im back home blogging.. Still do feel guilty.. Guess its gonna follow mi all the way till the moment i stop breathing.. Anyway.. actually i do kinda feel good after blogging everything out.. cos theres actually no one i can turn to.. so.. last but not least.. " I'm a ASSHOLE "

Tata~

I'm really sorry.. I know ur love for mi its true.. I know.. I really dunno wad else to say.. All I can say is my heart is never with mi, its with her.. All along its with her.. I jux couldnt get it back.. I might look happy, cheerful.. But I miss her.. really do miss her..

I appreciate the stars, the cups, the loves, the concern.. I once hope that I can actually fall in love with u.. But I couldnt.. I'm sorry.. I didnt mean to hurt u.. I'm a guy without a heart and i'm not worthy for ur love.. So all I can do is to let us remain as frens..

This is life.. A misses B, but B misses C and C loves D.. C and D are meant to be together, what B could do is to bless her with all the happiness.. A? B once tried to fall in love with A, but B couldnt because B heart is with C..

B to A: All B can say is sorry.. B was really touch with the stars u folded and gave mi.. B really tot he could forget C.. But am sorry, really very sorry.. B jux couldnt.. Hope we can keep in touch and remain as frens forever..

Never believe in love, friendship are always better.. Or being alone is the best solution..

The worst NightMare I Ever Had.. Burst Out Crying Non-stop.. Almost skip a heart beat.. (Couldnt breath, ache in the chest)..

Ok here goes:

I was in the hospital, a normal check up for my leg.. With my mum, took train to and fro.. And maybe my leg keep didnt get well, the doc suspect that some thing was not right in my knee, and found out that I had Kuan Jie Yan, it was on both of my legs.. And doc suggest of doing an OP, if not i will have to go cripple the rest of my life.. So Mum n I decided to do the OP..

So Mum & I went home.. My family did everything as per normal.. But deep inside I know, if this operation goes wrong, sumthing wil happen to me.. So the very moment I saw my mum with the looks or worry, I Cried..

I even saw Daddy, but all he do in the dream was giving me that smile.. Those smile that chills mi into the bone.. Kinda like the its ur retribution..

Was out with Mei one day, went to have fun at arcade.. Then I decide to go back home, walking alone while Mei carried on playing.. Half way thru, "this part of the dream i kinda see before or dream before, jux familiar".. I saw my sugery doc (the one that did my check up and the same one that did the operation on my leg for the first time). Familiar part: I saw her, she was doing the unpacking/packing.. I walked over to her, to say hi.. After watching her pack/unpack her surgery tools, she offer to sent mi home with her car.. So I went up the car.. Now moving around (I jux find the route super familiar)..

Reached home, saw my mum, and I cried again.. And this time, my leg wont even move a single bit.. N the days was my surgery day.. Sitting on a dinning table, with my parents.. I kept crying non-stop, didnt know wad to do.. All my thought was if I die, my mum wont be living. Was so helpless.. I turned over to daddy, asking him wad should I do, n all he gave mi was a smile, again it chills me.. right untill the moment i even blog it.. Saw my mother side de uncles, aunties, cousins.. They kept asking mi not to cry, its ok jux an OP.. Nothings gonna go wrong..

Thats how I kept crying n crying untill I came back from the dream and couldnt stop crying.. Even if I dun cry, tears kept flowing..

Alright heres the wierd part: I said family, but my Elder Sis wasnt inside.. Didnt see her.. The route seems so familiar.. And Daddy's not around anymore, but he used to be a caring one, not that kind that will give mi the smile that chills me..

End of story..

Great!! I slept at 7am ++ The moment I fall asleep, I dreamt.. Woke up at 9.30am.. 2 and a half hours of sleep.. Right now, Im tired.. But I jux couldnt get myself to lie on that bed anymore..
Luckily my Mei is around.. I went to her crying non-stop, she woke up, An wei wo.. I told her about part of the story.. And after some time, it stopped..

Officially Missing You (Cover Version) - Janice & SoniaO.A. Tamia

All I hear is raindrops
Falling on the rooftop
Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go
Cause this pain I feel
It wont go away
And today I’m officially missing you

I thought that from this heartache
I could escape
But I fronted long enough to know
There ain’t no way
And todayI’m officially missing you

Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

All I do is lay around
Two ears full of tears
From looking at your face on the wall
Just a week ago you were my baby
Now I don’t even know you at all
I don’t know you at all

Well I wish that you would call me right now
So that I could get through to you somehow
But I guess it’s safe to say baby
It's safe to say
That I’m officially missing you

Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Hey baby say it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially

Well I thought I could just get over you baby
But I see that’s something I just can’t do
From the way you would hold me
To the sweet things you told me
I just can’t find a way
To let go of you

Oh can’t nobody do it like you
Said every little thing you do
Oh it stays on my mind
And I, I’m officially missing you

Yeah yes
All I hear is raindrops
And I’m officially missing you

I hope to write down the memories of daddy, to always remember him..

When I was small, like maybe pri sch.. The tamiya car very pop.. He also never ask me, weather I a car to play or anything, he jux pass me $50 to go n buy a car I like..

He brought me a bicycle so that I can learn how to ride.. And I can ride back together with my mum..

During pri 5 jux after I learn how to ride a bicycle, he brought me up to the hill(block 200++).. Which he dun allow me to go up by myself because he was worried that I might get injured.. But after that night he bring me up, the next day I cycle up there on my own, he found out and gave me a scolding..

In sec sch, he worried about me going to sch.. Because it was a new sch and even tot its near to me, but its not to him.. He kept wanting to bring me to sch, but he got his work to take care of so he didnt..

Then there was once I ride the bicycle to a random place, which I went MIA for like few hours with my fren, end up when I go back, he scold mi, but again he was worried..

I was bad, noti and always making him angry.. But all he do was scolding.. But that is because he love me..

He even buy me a discman, which was freaking pop during that time.. He knows I always wanted to have 1.. So I ask me to go look at which 1 I like, and the price, then tell him, he will give mi money to buy.. And this was how I got my first discman..

Gameboy, He know I always go to the game shop to see see look look, even tot he was busy working.. And this is my father.. Love him.. He pass me the money, so that I can buy.. Then after buying, he even ask me, if the game was enough.. Still wanting to buy more game for me. but that was after promising to study hard.. This was how I got my first gameboy pocket..

Then gameboy advance, he saw alot of kids playing wif it.. And He ask me to go n buy, without thinking he have enough money for the family anot.. Which was.. ARGH.. I feel like crying now..

Then after I was in poly, and because his work and everything, I seldom see him.. Thus our chatting became lesser n lesser.. Whenever I never go to sch, he will scold me.. But again its for my own good.. And thus I pass and graduate.. He so wanted to attend my graduation things in sch, seeing me graduating.. But I told he its not worth it to off a day, to attend, because I myself find it stupid wasting time over there.. But right now, I regretted not going.. It might jux become a priceless memories.. During the holidays, he will always ask me to go out to work, not because he want me to give him money, but to earn money for myself, so I can buy things that I wanted.. And I will always remember this " Boy, u must go n work to buy things u want for urself.. Because papa cannot affort to".. But all I said was.. "ya la ya la" (tearing flowing down)..

The first day when I got enlisted into national service.. He and mummy accompany me to tekong.. Worried about am I able to get used to the life inside.. The both of them nearly tear up.. And I told them I will be alright.. dun worry, I will give them a call.. Then as time pass, I spring my ankle during route march, both of them are so worried, wanting to bring mi to doc..

Then the recent one was, I tore my ligement during I was at sispec camp.. Luckily, he came to fetch me back home.. even tot some scolding.. But its for my own good, y didnt I take care of myself..

Then I went for the op @ 9 of feb.. My dad, mum and mei acc me.. Waited for the poor sickening 3 hours.. Then my sis n brother in law joined. Then watch beside my bed, worrying.. After a day, I can go home already, they fetch me home..

Resting at home, daddy kept worrying about me getting hungry, keep asking me wan milo anot.. "Ah boy, u hungry anot, want drink milo anot? Papa make for u" But I kept laughing, saying " aiyo papa, dun need worry de, if i hungry will tell u de.." I know im a asshole.. Freaking shit..

And even during the time when daddy was inside, I never actually have a good talk with him, because the nurse dun allow me to go in.. My biggest regret.. Hais..

Regrets.. Full of regret.. Hais.. Can all this jux be a dream?? I jux hope to have some1 by my side..

I WAN PAPA!! I REALLY MISS PAPA!! CAN I HAVE MY PAPA BACK?? GIVE MI BACK MY PAPA!!

Special Thanks To:
Alvin, Ys, Wei Chiang, Teow Kiat, Clement, Aaron kor kor & Cindy and family, Xiong & his GF Yiyun, Alvina, Wei jie. And everyone that came down to help.. Sry if i cant remember ur name because everything was a mess.. Shock.. Things jux go way too fast for me to cope..

Went to the temple in the morning.. To Bai Bai for my dad and myself.. Then draw divine lot for my dad and myself.. As for my dad the lot wasnt that good.. But at least he will be safe and recover.. I really do hope so..!

As for myself I got a good lot.. Hmm.. theres a part that says: "There will be a couple, in love for a long time, but because of their parent(disallow), but because of the true love that touch their parents, and thus they went happily ever after.. Perseverance is the key..

WONDERING!!??!!??

Anyway today went to physio.. And $%#$%^#$%^#$%^$#$%$!! Kinda pissed off.. but its for my own good.. Went Im on my way back from physio, wasnt in good mood.. And so.. #$^%$^$^#$^#$^$^$$%^&$%^&^*!$%###..

U still have mi.. Dumb dumb..! Hais..

Hmm.. Sumthing i discover lately..

Can anyone tell me the meaning of friendship? What are friends for?

I been told that my frens around me are not good.. I tried to convince myself that is not the truth.. But slowly things started to show up..

When u need mi, u find mi.. N when I need u? Where r u? When i need someone to acc me.. Where r u? Nth.. I dunno which is right.. But right now, i've begin to learn to do thing alone, without u.. I know its being childish of me doing things this way.. I this is what I feel i should do.. Because I alway felt that Im being played with.. And I believe that things work both way.. Whenever u r there for me, i'll remember.. And no matter how tired I am, I tried my best to acc u.. But this seems to change lately.. It had becoming, when u need me to acc u, u'll call me.. But when i need u, i called u.. But always say those nice things saying u will acc me.. But hardly once the promise that are made are done.. As u all know, being someone who give too much and hardly get anything in return will get tired.. sooner or later.. I'll just freaking give up.. Let mi give u an example.. U told me, saying u will acc mi to the hospital.. Ask me to call u the next day.. But theres once i called u, even waited for u till im almost late.. n u told me u r tired, n wanted to sleep.. this happen not onli the first time.. So i told myself, its alright, u r always like this.. And this goes the second, third, etc.. I hate to say this.. But the friendship thingy.. Is slowly turning sour.. And I am serious about it.. As for the time being, I'll stop myself from meeting u.. Really.. I think I had enough.. Even tot someone once told me that frens are there to be li yong.. But how can me keep getting li yong, and u even did anything.. Things dun go natural.. no matter wad right now the word "bros" seems far far away from me..

As regarding my dad.. I've went over to visit him today alone.. Doc say his condition is stable.. Fever has gone down..Was rather relief.. Thus i went home.. Then my mum went over.. At night when she came back.. She told me, my dad's fever went back up.. Hais.. Please daddy.. Be strong.. We will be there with u.. And please forgive me not able to go visit u regularly.. U know I had problems walking.. So I'll try my best to visit u as much as possible.. Sorry..

Hais, can anyone tell me what to do??

Woke up rather late today.. My sweet little sister, cook mi magie mee when i woke up.. So sweet of her without mi asking her to do it.. She jux went to cook.. And the noodle was with meat balls.. NICE.! Then finished up the noodle, was watching TV in the room.. Then my house phone rang.. its from my mum.. She called the say my dad is in critical condition.. and wan us to get to the hospital asap.. this scared the shit out of me.. I quickly limp to my room grab my clothes and limp into the toliet.. Quickly get washed up, prepare to go out.. Then my mum got home, she change her clothes and we headed to the hospital..

At that moment.. I dunno y, i didnt felt sad but instead I felt sharp pain in my heart.. Maybe was because of the shocked, i didnt know wad to do.. Wierd.! Normally I would listen to my MP3 of sumthing.. But i didnt, wasnt in the mood to do anything except staring at the cars and road..

Got to the hospital.. Was my dad, he was breathing so heavily.. So the doc suggested to put a tube in, so he would be able to breath better.. But my dad didnt want it, #1 its painful, #2 he say he might not get use to it. After some time of comforting, he agreed. So we went out..

Then the nurse told us, they have to tied my dad's hand so when he wakes up, he wont be able to try to pull the tube out.. Then we headed outside to have a sit n waited.. Then was worried, so the first time was both my sis went in to check, if the docs are done.. No..
Then the second time, was mi and my little sis went to check.. The curtain are still closed up.. And my sis told mi, jux now when both my sis are there, they saw my dad straggeling while the docs are putting the tube in.. Blood and everything.. I wanted to cry.. But I control myself not to, because if i start, everyone else will.. And i didnt that..

Then we went for dinner, at a place nearby.. N we went back.. This time the curtain are open up.. Saw my dad sleeping, with the tube inside his mouth.. I serious wanted to cry at the freaking moment i saw him.. I can feel that it super painful.. But luckily his condition got slighty better..
we spoke to the doc, he told us that, they had given him, the meds and everything they could do.. Now is up to my dad to fight the virus.. Please Please Please.. U'll HAVE TO GET BETTER..! For urself and for our sake..! PLEASE! I BEG U! U have to come back home to NAG at me, for not sleeping, staying up till so late..

Im going to see him tml again.. To get update about his condition.. He'll be fine.. He'll be fine.. He'll will be fine..

Please if u feel sick, quickly get urself med from the docs.. Dun wait till things get worst and start worrying..

Daddy be strong.. All of us are waiting for u to come back home.. Laughter are waiting, Im waiting for u to come back to scold mi loud n clear.. Please.. U have to be strong..

Watch "How To Freaking Train Ur Dragon.!" 3D.. I would say its a good show.. The show was understandable.. The Ang Mo also understandable.. LOL.. Was a rather good story, Parts of it were so dam Cute, Funny, Touching.. Graphics was of cos good.. xD Never regretted watching the show.. ^^

My Heart is where U BELONG.. Okay, Random.. =p

Sleepy.. Yesterday play game till morning like 8am plus plus.. Went down get noodles for my MUMMY.! Eat then went to bed at like 9am ++.. Siansation.. Woke up at 12pm ++, reason was my mei was getting prepared to go out, she on the song like nobody business.. Then ask mi siam here siam there.. Buay Tahan.. Woke up play computer till like now.. Aw.. Eyes are closing.. But if I sleep now, OMGosh lata no need to sleep again le.. Cannot so right now must Tahan.. Till its time for mi to sleep till tml morning..

Alright=p I super wanna watch "Curse Of The Titans".. Because recently was reading Percy Jackson's series (Books), "*Please dun be surprise, that I read, Aw come ON.*" Right now I am like very into the Myths (Greek Gods).. Interesting..

SOooo... Anyone wants to watch "Curse Of The Titans" with me?? =p "Call mi" xD (I will be watch it with "Xiao Bai & his GF" "*I guess if nths goes wrong.*". And WHOS WITH ME??

eheheh, someone like moody ar..! xin qing bu hao, must say ar.. Fren will be there to listen de hor..! Dun keep keep keep, lata fall sick ar..! Okay larhz, I know I super KPO! OKOK!

Shall Stop here lerhz.. If not kena NAGGGG!! LOL.. *WHo dare to NAG mi?* Imma Smack the person* LOL! Take Care Peezzs..! Ti~Dos!~!~!~!

Hmm.. sry about the post tittle.. Im lazy to think..

Anyway I've been watching "Yuan Lai Wo Bu Shuai".. Funny yet Touching.. While watching the show, felt kinda sad.. Memories kept flowing back.. But as u can see.. Im kinda recovered le.. So wont cry anymore.. Now that I've finish the show.. OMGosh.. Nth to do le.. Zzz.. Maybe find another show to watch or sumthing..

I seriously miss Gu Wa Zai.. Tat time watch it on MIO.. OMG!! Touching.. !!
Ok, done wif the video n movie thingy..

Hmm.. Liqun: eh.. u all outing for cycling.. !! (Never Jio mi..) Lol.. "ok la, I know I cant go, so u all didnt jio mi".

I know u r having some difficult time right now.. N Im unable to do anything to help.. But whenever u need someone to talk to.. I will try my best to be there for u.. So Cheer Up alright.. All the best.!

I wanna go Sing.. Kbox, PartyWorld.. Sing till my throat explode..! Hais..
Alright gtg.. Tidos..!~

Hee.. Long time didnt blog le.. xD

Hmm.. Basically, I undergo an operation on my leggy.. Cos I injured.. Tore my right knee ligement.. Now I had these few beautiful scars on my leg.. Lol.. Painful >.<..

Hmm, its been almost a month after the operation.. But it still hurts.. N most importantly the doc says the faster person that recover, need at least half a year in order to be able to run.. Which is like.. :( Sad.. Means I cant bball untill then.. But it better than nth.. Imma go train up when I recover.. xD

Special Thanks: Lesley, for praying for mi, really big thanks.. Clement, Aaron aka er ke, Wei Chiang, Yongsheng, Teow Kiat, Xiong for visiting mi during CNY.. Bear, Liqun, See Yeo, for wishing mi Speedy recovery.. Hope n wish every1 is doing good..

Life been good disturbing frens n all.. "Wake up to pee le.." xD Slacking at home, play games, watch video.. Listening to songs.. Sing when nobody is around.. Meet up with frens for lunch & dinner.. Talking cock wif my sis.. Playing with my niece "Yu Tong" she is seriously so dam cute larhz.. hahas.. Make mi laugh my ass off.. lol.. That time my mum brought her a ballon dog with ears n legs, she was so happy n when playing with the ballon dog in the room while I was watching tv in the living room.. So funny, after awhile, she carry the little dog out laughing loudly.. She was carrying her dog, but go the legs and the ear tear out.. Lol.. Not even a day.. Then I ask my mum wad happen, she was playing wif the dog, riding the ballon dog pulling the ear.. "KokoBei" then she fell on the bed, cos she lost balance and got the ear tear out.. LOL! Then dunno y one of the dog's leg fell out, then my mum saw it, and my mum was playing wif the leg, tong tong see my mum play wif the leg like very fun, then she tear out another leg from the ballon dog n started playing with it.. LMAO!! Super funny.. Yet she can still laugh so loudly.. Lol.. CUTE!

Guess tml shes coming.. Gonna play wif her again.. Lol.. Shes our little kai xin Guo..! With her around u will nv have a peaceful time.. Cos she will keep making noise.. Making a mess.. Lol.. But seriously she super cute.. Miss her..!

Untill now, I haven go clubbing before, after I recover, any1 wanna go clubbing wif mi? Lol.. I wanna go see see look look.. Or go Pub for some celebration.. xD Miss u guys..

Yeah Yeah, I know I owe u ppl outing.. Lesley, Liqun and See Yeo.. No worries alright.. Imma meet u guys after I recover.. I wont run de.. xD Miss u guys too.. Make sure when u guys meet mi, imma suan u all till i happy, since so long didnt suan u all le.. Lol.. hahas..

Ok.. guess its long enough.. Imma stop here le.. xD Stay cute n happy always..! Take care.!!

Eh.. after so long didnt blog.. guess i should blog for jux abit.. hmm.. basically, I've done my operation le.. Its done on the 9th of feb.. So today is the third day after the operation.. n its still kinda numb, because they inject the nerve block for mi!! My leg is protect wif this bracer.. to restrict my kneee from twisting.. I will take a pic of my leggy.. and post it.. but see when i feel like taking a photo larhz.. haha.. Eh.. anyway i shall describe the pain.. basically on the first night after the operation, even tot I had pain killers, and the nerve block thingy.. its still hurt and is those kind of pain that make my tears drop.. Buai Tahan.. really tears drop.. keep dropping..!

Haha.. this is how my cny gonna go like..
ROT at Home.. after 5 mins Rot again.. And Rot again.. And ROT N ROT N ROT.. lmao..

Anyway Im going for physio therpy on the 18th of feb @ alexander hospital in the monring like 9.50am.. Lol.. Then afternoon gonna go to JMC aka jurong medical center.. To remove the strings on my leggy.. GG!!!

Today dunno y hor, play wad lose wad.. Maybe im a loser.. xD Dam sick of losing.. But the more I lose the more I want to win.. Fighting spirit hor.. xD (u will be thinking im retart or crazy etc..)

Lol.. laugh lor.. u all happy can liao.. I dun mind de.. Can make u all happy also no as bad larhz..
Hee.. ok la.. type till sian liao.. tata~~ Take good kare ppls.. We'll update again.. ~Maybe~ dunno when..!! xD

Sign off..
Alan aka NubCake.. !! xD

Hmm.. Its done booking the sugery date n time.. Its.. Dong~dong~Dong~dong..! 19/jan/2010 @ alexander hospital.. And i need to report to ward 1 by 8am in the morning.. Phew.. gonna be warded for 1 day.. zzZzz.. First time in my life being warded in hospital.. Shit lor..

Anyway right now, I'll be on MC till 18 jan.. Tehee.. So basically the doc told me the surgery is to help mi stablise my knee/leg cos the ligement is tore.. Then she has to harvest my hamstring dunno wad, then drill thru my bone to so called "tied" the screw to my knee.. So my knee will be stable again..

Sian.. Im sick now.. Keep feeling cold, but no fever.. Headache, running nose, sneeze, sore throat, cough.. Everything jux come together.. Kaos.. Dam xin gu larhz.. Sian.. Thanks ys for buying mi lunch yesterday..

Imma sick bird, so imma go rest now.. Take kare ppl, looking forward to the day im able to play bball again.. tata~~

Life is jux so unpredictable.. Am I right?? Be thankful to everything that is given to u.. Be thankful in the morning that u are still able to see the sun rising setting.. Even if u r in deep shit, be glad and be thankful that the shit never get shitter.. And as i've always said, cherish every person every thing that passes ur life.. It might be shit(worst things, person).. But is doesnt its bad.. For example, u step on a shit, but ended up u found someone u really love n is able to go on with u for the rest of ur life.. Is this still shit?? U might think im bull shitting.. But be thankful that u step on the shit, when there might be someone else fell down with the face to the shit.. But without going thru shit, u wont actually know wad shit is really SHIT.. So.. wad are u waiting for?? Eat shit dude.. xD okay la.. the last sentance is bull shit.. and I know..

Anyway, went for physo @ alexander hopstial.. And without going there, I dun even know my injure leg actually got smaller.. reason because I didnt use that leg muscle due to the pain.. And this shit is.. ARGHH!! Then how am I able to play bball again?? I AM SURE IM NOT GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN.. Imma trash those asshole out there once again.. but tats after my surgery.. ^^ ~~Always look on the bright side of life..~~ lalalalala~~

Being able to forgive n forget is sumthing that is priceless.. That needs courage and understanding. So.. Imma learn how too..

Hey, I jux watch Hai Pai Tian Xin.. Aw.. There was a part that is so sweet, that make mi smile without knowing it.. But it was short.. Hais, and the next moment my tears drop.. Aw.. so unpredictable.. Anyway is good, at least I know i do still have feelings.. Hee.. Watched it.. Its so dam nice..

This wed shall be my big day again.. Im going to JMC once again, to book n appointment for my leg surgery.. And my MC ends on that day, Im GOING BACK TO CAMP..! SADness.. SUX!

Hee.. complaint finish liao.. TATA~~ Gonna go enjoy my time before I go in camp.. Hee.. All the best peez..!!

Hmm.. Have u watch AVATAR?? if u haven, u better watch it.. The show is so dam cool.. With high tech equipments, graphics.. Especially the scenery.. WOW..! Story line, not bad.. I do hope I can be 1 of the sleep walker.. Cos everything can start anew.. New world, new life, new frens, new things. Its jux so cool..

Eh.. didnt blog of ages.. So after all this days, I guess im fine once again.. Living happily.. Playing happily.. Eating happily.. Sleeping happily.. Except the fact that I slept onli in the morning.. Lmao.. Wei jie says hes gonna come down to yishun lata on.. Seriously dunno what he wanna do.. But guess meeting a long time no see fren isint that bad right? lol..

Lovely Memories shall be kept alive, N Life still goes on n on happily ever after.. ^^

"sound rather ugly, but hope the meanings there.."

Imma go play my game already.. Hope u guys have lots of fun too..

"Saw ur pic, that time u go chiong de.. Haha, u jux look sooo pretty.. With that red butt on ur face.. lol.."

Wish Everybody out there in the world, a very happy belated new year n all the best in everything.. ^^

Buai buai..~~

Haha.. Watched Alvin and the chipmunks.. So dam cute larhz.. With the Chipettes too.. hahas.. Not much singing this time.. But its nice..!! "Let the pro show u how its done." Bang..!! TV gone le.. hahahaha..

Yesterday was watching TV, then heard this song Lion Heart from T-MAX.. Korean song.. But its actually a jap song.. Dam nice.. U guys should to listen.. ^^

Bored.. Till now my leg is still kinda of swollen.. Irritating.. :(

Weee.. L4D 2 Not bad leh.. Quite fun.. Enjoyed being RAPED!! No.. Should be GANG BANG!! lmao.. hahas.. If u haven try.. Go n try.. Things are much cooler than before.. But the weapon sux now.. BOBO Shooter!! lol..

Haha.. Watch Hi, my sweet heart.. (Chinese is 海派甜心).. Nice Nice.. The songs are even NICER!! Lol.. Hee..

I love u, U love mi, We are happy family..! With a Great Big Heart n A kiss from mi to u.. Wont u say u love mi too.. ^^

Alright.. finished Crapping already.. Well then..
tata~~

Been rather lazy recently.. Hmm.. Seem like she is having a good life.. Heex.. Good enough..

Im bored.. Seriously bored.. Y leg injured?? Zzzz.... Wanna put straight also cannot, bend also cannot.. WTF!!

Siansation, Horrible, terrible, vegetable..!!

Boom, Bomb.. Bahaha..!!

Alright enough..!! Heex..

Hmm.. Today I did ppt, for my work stuff larhz.. wah kaos..! didnt tell mi, wad the items is for then ask mi do ppt?? Kaos.. Sms the boss, also nv reply.. double Kaos.. (Kao Kao).. lmao.. So I didnt care much, I jux use what I think, and finish the ppt.. Heex.. Im from RP de leh.. PPT is nth.. Lmao.. Except that use openoffice is... "ok la ok la, not as bad as nth larhz.." Im use to microsoft office marhz.. So.. ya lor.. slowly will get used to it.. The ppt is full of crap.. Jux like last time in skool we did the social education thing.. is it social education? Cant remember, years ago le.. Wadever is sumthing education de.. The question is like: "if u see rubbish on the floor will u pick it up?" Answer: (in order to score high marks) "YES", but the fact is "Who will be that retard to fucking pick the rubbish?" Lmao.. CRAPZZZzzzz...

Life is.... !!!

eh.. cannot blame le.. I must be thankful that Im am still here able to blog, talk, crapz.. Only injured my leg, not broken or anything.. heex.. Thank you..!!

Opz.. today miss her again, then pi gu yang go disturb her by msg.. I shouldnt be doing this le larhz.. How can disturb ppl neh??

Doc: "U have too see open abit larhz.." (in chinese: Kan Kai Yi Dian)..
>.<: "Aiyo, born like tat bo pian ma..!"
>.<: "Then how much to do the operation?"
Doc: "Cheap cheap nia!"
>.<: "Cheap ar?? How Cheap??"
Doc: "Got $5, $50, which one u wan?"
>.<: "$5?? too cheap la.. Hao larhz (in english: ok larhz) I take the $50 de larhz.."
Doc: "Ok, alot of ppl also take $50 de.."
Doc: "Get rdy ar..! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.!"
>.<: "Ouch.. Wtf.. Y u hit mi?? Pain lehx..!"
~~~~~~ >.< ======== 5.O ~~~~~~~~~~
5.O: "Woah.. Can see clearly already.."
5.O: "Thanks alot leh doc.."
5.O: "Oh doc, btw wad is the $5 de?"
Doc: "Orhz.. That 1 ar?"
~~~~~~ >.< ======== 5.< ~~~~~~~~~~
5.O: "WTF? like tat also can ar??"
Then 5.O fainted..~~

Hee.. Crapz.. Too bored le..

-.-: "oi, siao eh.. See wad see??"
>.<: "Siao? u can see mi, I cannot see u ar??"
-.-: "mai kan lim pei guai lan leh..!! Since when I see u?"
>.<: "Kaos.! u dun see mi, how u know I see u??
-.-: "Na bei, ur skin very Itchy ar!!??"
>.<: "Lol... Eyes very Itchy nia la.."
~~~Bing Bang Bong..~~~~
-.-: "Still itchy anot?? Siao lian eh.."
O.o: " Woah.. Not itchy liao le.. Can see clear clear somemore.."
O.o: "weee uuu weee..! (Wishle) Chio bu leh..!!"
~~~Bing Bong Bang~~~~
(O).O: "Woah.. Even Clearer..!!"

Heex.. Trying to be lame here.. Lol.. u mind find it lame, but it may jux brighten somebody's day.. ^^ Tata~~ Late le.. Gonna Sleep.. Nighty Night..!!

Guess without having my leg injured, I wouldnt know bball is actually so important to me.. Without injuring my leg, guess I wouldnt know frens around me does care.. Without injuring my leg, I wouldnt know how important my leg is..

Guess going thru all this is part of my life.. Going thru the process of learning how to cherish things, family, frens.. especially to those who care.. To people who didnt know how things are important to them, u wont wanna go thru all this to learn how to cherish all the beautiful things around u..

Heehee.. dam stress now.. tons of things need to think about.. consider about..

who wan eat pig leg? i have 1 attach to me.. lmao.. (is this called gu zhong zhuo le?)

Once decided to do sumthing, never regret..

Thx for all the care n concern.. Never force urself to do sumthing u wouldnt enjoy.. time to emo liao.. hee.. xD

Take care... tata~~

Love my blog song.. Her voice is just to sweet.. like.. ^^

Hais.. Injured my leg (knee) again.. Sad..

Im scare that I cannot ever play bball anymore.. Hais..

Do u know how it feels like when something I enjoy so much.. But unable to enjoy it anymore..

Life just sux.. issint it?

Bball is sumthing for me to see, to watch.. But nv able to touch again.. Im really scared..!

Why is life jux this way?

Cant even walk now.. Cripple.. Hais..

Dammit.. Feel like crying.. Feel like dying now.. Cherish what ever u have now.. dun even let go.. Or u will regret.. Once its gone.. its gone..

I made my family worried. I made my frens worried. I made everyone worried. Just feel so useless now.. FUCK!!

To my frens: Please enjoy the bball session for mi alright.. Big Thanks. Thanks ys n my mum for accing to hospital today morning..

I need to be alone.. I need a corner alone.. LEAVE ME ALONE..

DAMMIT!! ARGGHHH!! Im FUCKING PISSED OFF!!! FUCK OFF!!

"Ur happiness is all im concern."

"The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for."

I simply just love this phrase..

Hmm.. was reading some of the old post.. Things started flashing back.. All the loving memories.. OMG.. its just so sweet.. its not as bad to refreshing back those lovely memories.. hee..

Come to think of it.. I still have the dam long video taken at sentosa in my memory card.. See when I have to mood, I'll just extract it out.. Post it.. hahas.. Those was the most fun and lovely days I had in my life larhz.. Wont forget.. ^^

Looking at those old post made by her, or myself.. Isint that painful anymore.. Guess I recovered.. Left some slight crack waiting for recovery.. And guess wad, I got addictted for reading those post.. lol.. Looking at the cards and the photos in my cupboard, the rings in my bag, the duck on my bed.. everything.. Just feel so glad I still had them.. But the onli thing is the duckie is real real smelly and dirty.. Lol.. Yellow become grey le.. xD Memories I didnt wanted to washed away..

Tats y waiting for some1 is the worst part of life, but having some1 to wait for is just the best part of life.. Im sure I am contented for being able to have the feeling of waiting for some1 worth me waiting for..

Seriously I dunno should I wait or should I not wait.. Cos waiting alone myself, but the other party doesnt know, is just useless.. Just like Im waiting for ur reply.. Saying U will get back to me, but nth comes in the end.. Just another disappointment.. Guess im just not cut out to wait..

I just wanna have a stead/gf. Living a happy simple life, with her, with my family.. Having a job enough for living.. And I am contented.. Hee.. Dreaming again.. Lol.. This only happens in fairy tales.. Not in real life.. In life things can just become so ugly that u wont even know or want to face it.. humans can become so ugly that they change to another person which u dun even know..
Someone that misses so much, suddenly become a stranger..

Its so dam true about being a bad person is so much easier than being a good person.. Being bad theres nth to worry about, but becos u're good, u tend to worry too much, ended up being a idiot or a irritating person..

Lifes changes so quickly. U maybe alive now, but next moment u're maybe gone.. Who knows? So cherish everything n everyone u have.. Do everything without a single regret.. Somethings that are lost = things gain.. No pain no gain.. Becos the things gone thru, make wad u are now..
Spend time to the maximum..

Last but not least, I just hope u would spend a min of ur daily life to send mi just a sms saying "Im fine".

Phew..!! At last the busy things are over.. hahas.. Happy marriage alright.. All the best..!

Wow, book out at 11pm again yesterday.. Got home like 12.30pm.. Shags..! Dam tired.. But its OVER!! xD

Hey.. I need to go shopping for some stuffs.. Like I wanna get myself a BAG.. few singlets.. few polo-tees.. And last but not least, is presents, for xmas n my sista de bday.. Seriously dunno wad to get.. hais.. Stress again.. Guess I should buy a present for the new married couple..!! hmm..?

Any1 wanna go shopping wif mi?? But i'll go bugis to hunt for my bag and clothes first.. then after that go hunt for presents..

Wow she reply n even pick up my calls.. So dam happy larhz.. But she was busy after that le.. no reply le.. anyway I'll just wait ba.. even tot i know hopeless.. xD tats mi larhz..

Ok la.. im freezing in my room.. So imma stop blogging le.. wanna living room to catch some heat.. xD Peez.. Im fine.. seriously im fine.. ^^ dun have to worry..
Tata~~

"The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for."

Tats y im waiting..!!

Im jux simply too tired.. Gonna drop dead soon.. Seriously, I was so darn happy that u was the first 1 to reply mi in the morning.. Was super tired de, but then after recieving ur sms.. My mood was just high up to the sky..

These few days are killing mi.. Tons n tons of work to be done.. Never ending.. So dun mind if I distress abit.. brb..!

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck,
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, FUCK..!!

This 100 FUCK is for the shit I've been feeling recently, shit I did recently..! Feel so good now..! Back to normal..

Hmm.. Ps I wanted to do this long ago but still can tahan.. but now is like.. ARGH!! SHARK!! RUN!! SHIT.. DAMMIT!!

Ok.. This thurs I went to the MO, and was told that I will be downpes.. To C2, but dunno L wad.. And on the 23rd is my big "DAY" because I will be going to JMC, to comfirm for the operation on my Knee.. Reason I wanted to go for the OP, simply because I need to leg to fully funcationable.. So I can run, I can play bball, I can do wad ever I wan and plus I dun wanna wait till I get old n everything comes back.. So...

Congratz WC, Ur a MAN now!! hahas.. Happy enlistement..
Congratz TK, Ur old now..!! hahas.. ORD lor..!! xD
Congratz myself for always waiting for her sms but it nv come.. Congratz..!
"Ty ty ty"!!

Hais.. I'll just wait for MIRCALE to happen..!! Im sure it will.. No matter how disappointed I will be.. I'll wait..

Yeah.. After so much hard work.. Tml shall pay off..! Wedding dinner time..!! Yeah.. Spent so much of my time and energy setting up.. Tml I shall GO for it.. EAT EAT EAT!! xD even if I become a FATTY PIG.. I wont give a dam.. The most I excerise lor.. hahas.. Well Wish Him and her all the best in the marriage and everything..!!

Guess my batt reached its max le.. Should recharge le.. sorry for those who wanted to find mi today.. Because I was so smart yesterday, I charge everything, my MP3, PSP, but not my phone.. ended up my phone was a fallen hero today.. SAD.. wondering if u called mi or anything.. But guess u didnt la.. anyway its good to lie to myself.. makes mi happier..!

My Own quot of the day.. "As long as you are happy..!"

And I jux love this:
"The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for."

NIGHTY night..!

Basically, im tired of waiting or jux gotten use to waiting le.. even tot i know no hope le.. i still wanna wait.. dunno wait for wad.. hais.. guess its time, i must force myself not to wait anymore..

Was rather sad.. maybe i jux dun understand. Y spending a min replying also dun have? hais.. or maybe issit u jux got no feeling for mi.. these are things i've been thinking lately..

Didnt have lunch n dinner till now.. Dying soon.. I simply hate myself for missing u.. SERIOUSLY I HATE MYSELF.. y so easy fall in love?? If im able to i'll jux wack myself la.. hais..

Other then the love stuff.. recently i got tons of things to do.. hais.. need to do more 3D design using maya.. OMFG!! doing 1 is killing now is a few more.. plus he wants it by monday.. this sat will be having a wedding dinner.. and im helping out.. Siansation.. Got to work on fridays n shiterday.. then onli left sunday to finish up the work.. HOW??

Finish complaining about work stuff..

Recently the missing has gone lesser n lesser.. maybe its becos we broke up le.. Or issit the workload im having now is the cause.. everyday also hope to see ur sms.. but dun have.. keep look at the phone.. guess im crazy le..

Hais.. I should go get some food.. or else i having recieve ur sms i die le.. alright take kare pees.. n U please do take kare of urself in everything u do.. last but not least.. HATE MYSELF!!

Had been feeling short sharp pain with sourness in my heart.. I dunno wad happen.. Even its a very short time we've been together.. I jux miss u so much.. And today all I get was onli a sms..

Know wad, I was so happy to see her sms.. Knowing her fine.. But right after a few hours lata.. Things jux started to changed.. This entire whole day was jux so sour.. Without her sms, without her voice.. And seriously I kept looking at my phone.. But everytime was a disappointment.. Having the hope to see her sms coming in.. But it jux got shattered everytime I saw my phone.. No news from her.. "U know I really miss u like crazy" I dunno if u feel the same, but I do.. Its killing mi.. Jux 1 simple sms will do.. Im not hopping for something rediculous.. loving some1 can be so painful..

Things had started to changed.. I agreed.. I hate to see u feeling stress.. I hate it.. Tats y I ask u am I interrupting ur life?? I need the truth, no matter wad ur ans is, I will accept it.. Because if u're not happy, theres no point I kept dragging on.. And I know u dun wanna hurt mi.. but its even more hurtful seeing u like this.. But I think I kinda know the ans already. I ask this as the first question because if I am interrupting ur life, I should really leave u alone.. Knowing u having so much of ur own problems, and Im jux like another burden/worry acting on u.. I seriously dun wan to be a burden.. having u worrying about mi, having u wasting ur time replying mi, having u wasted ur time resting jux because I wanted to talk to u during the night, after u finished ur work..

Remember I told u theres 2 question?? Heres the second question.. Do u love mi?? I've been thinking since yesterday.. Am I able to take it (knowing the ans that u will give mi)? I know I cant, but I have to.. Why I wanna ask u the second question? Its because I feel that no matter wad happen, having u loving mi, even its for a second, or even before.. I simply have nothing to regret about.. Moreover, I really felt love when im with u, even tot it lasted for only a few hours, im contented..

U dun have to worry that u will hurt mi or anything.. Im the 1 asking u to go in a relationship with mi.. So jux let mi know how u r feeling or wad u r thinking.. So I guess I can let u go, and u will have ur own life..

Last but not least, I am really happy getting to know u, having u to be my gf.. Theres nth I will regret about.. Everything is jux so happy.. even tot I kept worrying about u, but I jux feel happy worrying.. At least theres some1 I can love, can worry, can share my tots with.. Sorry for making such a mess out for u, sorry for giving u morning call today without knowing ur actually not work and disturbing u from ur sleeps.. Sorry for all the unhappiness I cause.. Sorry for my sms that was sent to u when u're busy.. Jux sorry..

Please give a sms or a call if u happen to see this?? I really miss u, and I do miss u like hell.. Guess I should get out of u life already.. ^^ be happy always alright.. I will be fine.. Dun worry.. Smile.. ^^ 271109 shall be remembered!!

Eh.. psps.. was kinda lazy + busy to blog la.. xD

Anyway Im attached already.. To a super duper silly (*Busy*) gal.. As for those wanting to know who is she.. Ask mi lor.. xD

Right now im waiting for the time to pass.. BECAUSE im going to meet her lata.. Going to bugis to have dinner with her..

Hmm.. today was rather pissed off.. cos she promise to sms mi before she sleep last night.. she didnt.. (maybe shes tired).. then before i went to sleep, I told her to text mi tml morning after she woke up.. Zzz.. I woke up at around 9+ actually going for swimming.. then my great fren ah ment, say the weather so cold "swim wad"? this 1 really.. Roar..!! ok, its over, im not going to remember.. Then slowly I waited till 11+am le.. still nv recieved her sms.. I was kinda pissed le.. So I sms her.. No sms no nothing.. Onli then she called.. By then I was pissed off le.. So I was like not interested in anything le.. I didnt ask her y nv sms mi during the phone call.. But this silly gal knows it, the first thing she said was "sorry dear"..

Sometimes I really dunno I should be angry/pissed or wad seriously.. Then I sms her, telling her how worried i am and I miss her.. And she onli reply "sorry" reason she dun wanna give mi lame excuses for not texting mi.. -.- Aw.. she's really very cute lor..

Its over.. Not gonna think of it anymore.. Just promise mi u wont go mia again..!! Alright..

eh.. ment.. seriously not i dun wan to meet u.. when u called mi, i was playing dota.. of cos nv hear wad u say la.. dun say i not brother, i called u back wanting to acc u de.. but u dun wan.. then I bo pian also.. (he dun wan cos, im going to have dinner wif my dear, then i acc him onli, he say i come also bo liao.. so he didnt wan..) I dun mind acc u de.. Bros wad.. aiya.. anyway we'll meet up some other time alright..

Its about time to get myself prepared to meet my dear le..

tml theres a meet up wif my poly frens.. lol.. Dunno wad they will do.. Zzz.. But I get to bully them.. hahas.. lol.. looking forward to have fun with them..

TATA~~ GTG le.. xD Take care peez..!

Haha.. POP LOR!! xD
Eh.. gonna go chalet lata on.. Still wondering if im gonna stay overnight.. Cos its like not many ppl going leh.. Siansation..
Plus thinking about the event that is going to be held there.. Wah.. Sian1/2.. Lmao..
Anyway.. gonna meet darrel n shootbuslight together to go there.. lmao.. sian la..
this few days at home also dunno wad im doing.. like wasting my time away lor.. Gonna go unit le.. Siansation.. Miss the days when im slacking, at home.. T.T

Ok gonna go.. Cya..!

Sad to say.. Its a boring day.. Been rotting at home.. Cant go out.. (even if I go out, I also got nth to do.) So wads the point of going out?

All I can say I siansation..

Computer? got nth to play.. Now im left alone at home once again.. Felt so lonely.. So sad.. Time is just going too fast.. Emoing..

Signed off.
:+:Nub~Cake:+:

I've been having this feeling ever since I went into my life of NS..! I felt hopeless.. Helpless.. Nth seems real to me.. I hate this feeling..

I been missing her alot lately.. Always tot of patching things up with her.. But I dun have the courage.. Things just speed thru my mind.. I really felt insecure.. Or is it because I have her, I can share almost everything with her.. Having her by my side is everything.. BUT.. not anymore..

Been having aches cause of my wisdom tooth since today afternoon.. Giddiness is the part that is killing.. Feels like the floor is moving.. So when to visit the doc.. Glad that my mum acc me.. But while we are heading back home, in the half way she left mi and went to do her stuff.. Reached home, my elder sis is getting prepared to go home.. And Im left alone.. All I tot about is, if shes here, she will look after me.. But not anymore.. I left alone at home watching Tv.. Really dun feel good in terms of physical and mental..

Time is moving quickly, I always tot I could keep up.. But it didnt seem that way.. But no matter wad, I wont give up.. Life ain't about giving up.. Everyday is a new day, I must cherish every moment I have, be it with my family or friends..

I shall stop my emoing here.. Sry for not updating my blog.. Been super duper busy lately.. Gonna POP soon.. And I am gonna give my everything to do it the right way.. 24km route march, HERE I COME..!

I am glad to be able to be there when u needed someone.. Tot I can't help u, and I always cant.. But at least I can share ur load, ur burden.. Which tells me, im still a somebody in ur heart.. So dun worry about me getting annoyed..!

Take care guys..
signed off..
:+:Nub~Cake:+:

Seriously I dunno what am i doing? I jux dunno y I blog.. N I think I hate a white blog.. a Black 1 suits mi more.. I am who I am and thats mi..

So Im gonna change my blog skin again.

After my grandpa pass away.. I really dunno what to blog..